Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts

Monday, 16 February 2015

8 Ways to Spring Clean Your Life

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Last week I took my daughter to New York City for spring break to look at colleges. But it didn’t feel one bit like spring.
In fact, it was so cold we were wearing winter coats and boots, wondering if nature was playing a cruel trick on us.
Even when we returned to Atlanta on Thursday, it was still cold and windy in spite of blossoms popping out on the trees and azalea bushes — a colorful shout of defiance against the abnormal springtime temps.
But this weekend — ah, it was absolutely perfect. It finally felt like spring had arrived with temperatures in the 70’s and a pale coating of yellow pine pollen on everything.
The arrival of spring always lightens my heart and soul. It feels like a new beginning, a fresh start that begs us to open our internal windows to release the stale and tired emotions we’ve carried all winter and allow a light breeze of peace and positivity to wash over us.
I know some of this lightness is just part of the seasonal change. The short days of winter, the lack of sunlight, the cold weather, and the time spent indoors makes us feel cranky at best and sometimes downright depressed. We tend to exercise less, eat heavier foods, and sleep more.
It’s amazing how the regenerative powers of sunshine, warm weather, and time outside can almost immediately restore your body and mind. You find yourself eager to clean out clutter, freshen up your home, and get a little exercise.

Internal cleaning
With a lighter heart and open mind, we also have the opportunity to spring clean our internal lives. We have the chance to hit the re-set button and start over with a shift in attitude and a reawakening to our values, dreams, and sense of purpose for our lives.
The concept of rebirth during the spring isn’t simply a religious or seasonal metaphor. Spring is the perfect time to recreate ourselves and blossom into the beautiful potential we envision for our lives.
Everything that happens in your outer life begins with your internal choices or lack thereof. When you are clear about who you want to be and how you wish to live your life, then your choices and actions become as easy and natural as a spring breeze.
Gaining that internal clarity first requires the awareness that it’s necessary. It requires you to step back, breathe deeply, and make the conscious decision to evolve, to activate your own metamorphosis.
Here are some ways you can begin the internal spring cleaning process.

1. Re-define your core values
I can’t stress enough how important it is to know your core values. These are the guiding principles of your life around which all decisions and actions should be measured. When you are clear on the values you hold most dear, then it is easy to discern where and how your life doesn’t support or reflect those values. You may have dozens of values, but you need to have a handful (maybe 5-10) that are the most important, non-negotiable driving principles of your life. Here’s a good list of values you can use as a thought-starter.
Your values can change over time. At one point in your life, adventure might be a core value and at another point it might be security or flexibility. This is a good time to clear out the old values and reinforce those that are important for your life now.

2. Restore your integrity
Are there areas of your life that don’t reflect your core values or where you are living out-of-alignment with your personal integrity? Perhaps it’s a relationship that is inappropriate or doesn’t serve you. Maybe you are accepting something in your job that rubs you the wrong way. Maybe there are parts of your lifestyle that feel inauthentic or meaningless.
Where do you feel your life and your sense of integrity don’t match up? What can you do to correct that?

3. Harmonize your close relationships
There are people in your life whom you love or care for deeply, but perhaps the relationship isn’t as strong as it could or should be. Maybe you’ve been distracted or neglectful. Or perhaps you’ve allowed someone to treat you poorly. Sometimes we allow our relationships to slip into periods of inattention or malaise. How can you bring more harmony, communication, attention, and love to your close relationships? What do you need to release in order to be a better partner, spouse, parent, or friend?

4. Shine up your attitude
After a winter of discontent, it becomes a habit to allow negativity to dominate our thoughts and words. We become so accustomed to complaining, worrying, and seeing the glass half empty that we are blinded to all of the beauty and joy we have access to right now, even in this very moment.
Use this time to shift your attention from all that is going wrong in your life to all that is going right. Allow gratitude and joy to move to the forefront of your thoughts, and actively seek to diminish the power and predominance of your worries and frustrations. Seek out goodness, beauty, love, humor, and positivity. Spend time with people who support this way of being and thinking.

5. Simplify your thinking
Sweep out extraneous distractions, projects, and tasks that drain your brain energy. Prioritize just a few main goals for each day, and allow yourself the time to focus on them deeply and thoroughly without being mentally or physically pulled in different directions. Visualize white space around each goal so you create plenty of room for imagination and critical thinking without anxiety or interruptions.

6. Change up your routines
Wipe away the old daily routines you’ve been following all winter long. Shake up your life a bit and create new routines and new ways of doing things. Our lives become boring and stale when we do the same things day in and day out. Even small changes, like going a different route to work or having your breakfast before your shower rather than after, can make you feel motivated and different.
But consider larger changes too — like meeting a new group of people, taking up a new hobby, or going on an adventure. Change challenges us and stretches us to become more interesting and self-aware.

7. Reclaim inner peace
There are so many circumstances and interactions that we allow to steal our sense of equanimity and inner peace. We become so attached to things and outcomes that we become deeply disturbed if don’t achieve or acquire what we think we must have. We allow the moods and words of other people to hurt or worry us. We grow defensive over perceived slights. We allow ourselves to remain in environments that are too loud, disruptive, or draining.
What is disrupting your inner peace? How can you clear away those things so you can enjoy more calm and contentment in your life?

8. Buff up your emotional intelligence
Part of on-going personal evolution requires that we demand increasing emotional maturity from ourselves. Emotional maturity simply means having control over your emotions rather than your emotions controlling you. It means being able to accept people and situations as they are without needing to change them. Ultimately, this allows you to experience the inner peace described above and to enjoy deeply satisfying relationships. Emotionally intelligent and mature people . .
  • - know what they want and make it happen;
  • - think before they act;
  • - exhibit self-reliance and the ability to take personal responsibility;
  • - have patience;
  • - are able to connect with others in a cooperative and positive way;
  • - are able to genuinely care about others and can demonstrate that;
  • - exhibit honesty and can live by their principles;
  • - have moderation and balance in all things;
  • - have the ability to follow through, even when it is difficult;
  • - can show humility and say “I’m sorry.”

Just as spring is a time of renewal and rebirth year after year, we have the opportunity to renew ourselves — to become the best version of who we wish to be as we define it year after year.
As the weather gets warmer, the sun is shining, and the leaves and flowers are budding, open the windows and doors of your internal house and give your mind and spirit a thorough spring cleaning. As you clear out the old and unnecessary parts of your life, you will awaken to possibilities and joy you hadn’t noticed hiding under the dust bunnies of those cold winter months.


Wednesday, 4 February 2015

How to Find Your Life’s Purpose and Make Yourself a Better Person

Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.Some mornings, you may feel that there’s something deeper you could be a part of. You feel the pull towards something but you can’t exactly pin it down—it eludes you and frustrates you.
You might have heard stories from writers or musicians who have felt their calling their entire lives; the Mozarts of the world who have pursued their passions from the moment they were out of the womb. Deep down you wish you had this “knowing” to pull you forward.
Frankly, you do: all it takes is a little digging to uncover the truth. Think of uncovering your passion like the work of a master sculptor, slowly chipping away the stone to reveal the masterpiece underneath. Your life’s purpose is this masterpiece, simply lurking beneath the surface waiting to be released.
The fastest way to uncovering your life’s purpose is through the art of introspection: diving into the deeper essences of who you are to pull out the pieces to assemble the purpose puzzle. Think of your life’s purpose as a golden thread; for some, that thread comes in the form of a certain career or profession, while for others it looks like a way of being or expression.
Let’s use the analogy of an epic quest across the ocean to take you on your journey of uncovering your purpose.

Why you want this in the first place

Ultimately you’re trying to improve your life. You want more zest, more flavor, more fullness. In the strictest sense you want to become a better person. You want to wake up in the morning excited, jumping out of bed with a thirst for life that you haven’t felt since you were a child.
Your purpose can be the driving force of this. Your purpose can be your connection to something larger, something that will allow you to make your mark on the world, to truly make a difference. Still, your WHY might be different. Before we even leave solid ground you need this as your anchor, just in case things get a little foggy. To find it just answer this question:
Why do you want to find your purpose in life?
Write down or remember whatever comes up. It might be some of the above reasons or it might be something entirely different. Whatever it is cherish it, nothing is too far left field.

The tools for your journey

Before any great adventure, you want to make sure your tools and supplies are in working order. For this quest the tools are simple: You’ll need a pen and piece of paper, a working memory, and the drive to uncover what you set out to find. That’s it—you’re ready to set off. Before we go, there are a few things you’ll need to embrace beforehand. Think of these items as the underlying code of conduct for your journey.
1. I welcome the hard work and tiresome effort it will take to unearth my life’s great work.
2. I know my purpose might not be directly obvious, but I will put in the time to find it.
3. I believe finding my purpose is entirely possible.
4. I know that finding my life’s purpose may lead to some drastic (positive) changes.
5. I know that finding my life’s purpose will leave me with the power to shape my own destiny.
Once you’ve let the above affirmations settle, you’re ready to free your ship from the dock and set sail. Your tools are sharpened and your mind is prepped: congratulations! You’ve come farther than most people ever do.

Slaying the inner dragons

When you first set sail into uncharted waters there will be an initial resistance; a pervading fear, a fear of the unknown. If you feel this, great: you’re human.
The first dragon you might face will likely be your internal beliefs. They might try to stop you in your tracks, or tell you you’re crazy for trying to find your purpose in the first place. They might say harsh things like “you don’t deserve to have a purpose”, or “you’ll never find what you’re looking for”. What you have to know is that this inner dialogue isn’t true—it’s more afraid than you are. Its main goal is to keep you comfortable.
To combat your inner dialogue you have to first realize it’s happening. When you start to actually pay attention to the thoughts as they’re spiralling  then they lose their power. They get their evil force by operating below the scenes, so when you shine a spotlight of awareness upon them they lose their control over you.
Once you’re familiar with these inner dragons it will be easier to slay them.
Next, you have to swing your sword of action. The best way to stop these beliefs from stopping your journey before it begins is to study them. To know them inside and out, and to act in spite of them when they occur. That way you build power: true soul-baring force. Try this on for size: When you’ve come across a belief that is threatening to stop your journey, take a breath and look it square in the eye, then act anyway. You’ll know what actions to take after the next section, so hold tight. Just know that you’re going to act in spite.
This will teach you to develop your courage muscle, and its heart-centered courage will give you something to lean on throughout your uncertain quest. To re-cap, when a limiting belief comes your way like “I don’t deserve to know my purpose” you’ll first shine your light of awareness on the belief, look it square in the face, then take action right over it.

Questions for the great dig

Now that you know why you’re doing this and how to overcome any hurdle, you’re ready for the turbulent seas. You’re preparation is done, the shore is now out of sight. All that remains is you and the seas of your soul. Get ready to dive deep. Keep in mind that we’re going to analyze common threads in your life and the deep desires you have currently to give you a one two punch to finding your purpose.
Step one, the soul-baring questions:
If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend your time?
What would your perfect day look like? Describe every detail.
What activities set your soul on fire?
What do you love to do?
These should be enough to get you going. Don’t be afraid to dive deep with these questions, and write down whatever comes to mind. Make sure you create some space to ponder these questions. Nothing is too outlandish, so do your best to turn off your mental filter. The best answers will come when you can turn off your self-judgement.
Once you have these answers in hand, we’re going to take a little stroll back into your memory to dig up some more answers. When you’re a child, your life experience is more freeing, playful, and alive. Your whims direct your life and you’re more plugged into a deeper current. At this stage in your life the outside world hasn’t shaped you dreams yet, you have direct access to your passions. We all had things we loved to do as kids but ended up giving them up for the sake of practicality. What we’re going to do here is take a stroll through your memory banks and try to gain some glimpses of this childhood wisdom.
Step two, connect with your inner child:
What brought you immense joy as a kid?
What were you doing when you lost track of time?
What did your parents have to drag you away from?
What did you love deep down before the world told you to get practical?
Once again, keep your mind in an open place. If you’re having trouble, it may help to look at a picture of yourself when you were younger, or grab an old stuffed animal or other item that sends you back into the memory banks. Write to your heart’s content—even use crayons if you have to!

Building your golden thread

Now that you’ve braved the epic seas, the other shoreline is in sight. The last stretch of the journey is to string all the bits of randomness together and find the common themes. The digging is done—great work.
Your job now is to take a hard look at all your answers, and see if you can pull out any common ideas that are in both lists. Maybe you’ve wanted be a writer since you were a child, and committing words to a page every day really sets your soul on fire. There’s a good chance that writing may be involved in your life’s purpose.
Maybe you’ve always been fascinated by the stars and the cosmos, reading textbooks on the subject in your spare time, and you’ve always had a deep connection to spending time outdoors. You could combine this into an excursion where you lead groups of people into the wild to stargaze and contemplate their place in the universe.
Let your creativity reign, and don’t fret if you can’t make a connection right away. Sometimes it helps to sleep on it and let your subconscious work on the solution for you.
If you’ve done the work then you’re on your way to finding your life’s purpose. When it’s there, you’ll feel it deep down in your bones.