20 Things to Remember When Rejection Hurts

Be OK with walking away…

Rejection teaches you how to reject what’s not right for you.

As you look back on your life, you will realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from someone or something you wanted, you were in fact being redirected to someone or something you needed.

Seeing this when you’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough.  I know because I’ve been there.

As soon as someone critiques, criticizes, and pushes you away – as soon as you are rejected – you find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I’m not worthy.”  What you need to realize is, the other person or situation is NOT worthy of YOU and your particular journey.

Rejection is necessary medicine; it teaches you how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so you can find the right ones that will.  It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it just means someone else failed to notice what you have to offer.  Which means you now have more time to improve yourself and explore your options.

Will you be bitter for a moment?  Absolutely.  Hurt?  Of course, you’re human.  There isn’t a soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heart break at the realization of rejection.  For a short time afterwards you will ask yourself every question you can think of…

• What did I do wrong?
• Why didn’t they care about me?
• How come?
• etc.

But then you have to let your emotions fuel you in a positive way!  This is the important part.  Let your feelings of rejection drive you, feed you, and inspire one heck of a powerful opening to the next chapter of your story.

Honestly, if you constantly feel like someone is not treating you with respect, check your price tag.  Perhaps you’ve subconsciously marked yourself down.  Because it’s YOU who tells others what you’re worth by showing them what you’re willing to accept for your time and attention.  So get off the clearance rack.  And I mean right NOW!  If you don’t value and respect yourself, wholeheartedly, no one else will either.

I know it’s hard to accept, but think about it…

All too often we let the rejections of our past dictate every move we make thereafter.  We literally do not know ourselves to be any better than what some intolerant person or shallow circumstance once told us was true.

It’s time to realize this and squash the subconscious idea that you don’t deserve any better.  It’s time to remind yourself that…

1. The person you liked, loved or respected in the past, who treated you like dirt again and again, has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you in the present moment, but headaches and heartache.

2. One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is when you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change, like someone else’s behavior or decisions. 

3. Life and God both have greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or believing that you’re broken.

4. The harsh truth is, sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller and emotionally stronger than you ever were before.

5. It’s not the end of the world – it’s never the end of the world – and yet rejection can make the loss of someone or something you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut-wrenching and world-ending.

6. Sometimes people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them.  And sometimes the more chances you give, the more respect you lose.  Enough is enough.  Never let a person get comfortable with disrespecting you.  You deserve better.  You deserve to be with someone who makes you smile – someone who doesn’t take you for granted – someone who won’t leave you hanging.

7. Some chapters in our lives have to close without closure.  There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.

8. Take a deep breath.  Inner peace begins the moment you decide not to let another person or event control your emotions.

9. You really can’t take things other people say about you too personally.  What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you.

10. Those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who build themselves up with the bricks others have thrown at them. 

11. Let your scars remind you that the damage someone has inflicted on you has left you stronger, smarter and more resilient.

12. When you lose someone or something, don’t think of it as a loss, but as a gift that lightens your load so you can better travel the path meant for you.

13. You will never miss out on what is meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way.  Stay focused.  Be positive.

14. Rejections and naysayers aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things; so don’t let them conquer your mind.  Step forward!  Seriously, most of us do not understand how much potential we have – we limit our aspirations to the level someone else told us was possible.

15. Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. Don’t be one of them.  Ultimately, you are who you are when nobody’s watching.  Know this!  And dare to be yourself, however awkward, different or odd that self may prove to be to someone else.

16. Comparing yourself to others, or other people’s perceptions, only undermines your worth, your education and your own inner wisdom.  There’s no one who can handle your present situation better than YOU.

17. The more we fill our lives with genuine passion and purpose, the less time and energy we’ll waste looking for approval from everyone else.

18. You CAN use your struggles, frustrations, and rejections to motivate you rather than annoy you.  You are in control of the way you look at life.

19. Sometimes transitions in life are the perfect opportunity to let go of one situation to embrace something even better coming your way.

20. Right now is a new beginning.  The possibilities ahead are endless.  Be strong enough to let go, wise enough to move forward, diligent enough to work hard, and patient enough to wait for what you deserve.

Afterthoughts

All details aside, you don’t need anyone’s constant affection or approval in order to be good enough in this world.  When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you.  It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs.  So you don’t have to internalize any of it!  Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent.  You exist, and therefore you matter.  You’re allowed to be yourself.  You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings.  You’re allowed to assert your needs.  You’re allowed to hold on to the truth that who you are is more than enough.  And you’re allowed to let go of anyone in your life who makes you feel otherwise.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2015/04/01/20-things-to-remember-when-rejection-hurts/#more-833

Get Over Your Fears - Stop Them From Stopping You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ5AV9HUYqs

Happy Monday?!

In studies conducted with US participants, results have shown that suicides are more likely to occur on Mondays than any other weekday, and not surprisingly, the amount of suicides are the least during weekends. It is also revealed that Monday depresses the most people compared to any other days of the week. Seems like there is a reason behind the term ‘Monday Blues’ after all.

It probably wouldn’t come as a shock to you that a UK research also found that most sick leaves are also taken on Mondays. As to why Monday is a particularly moody day, well, it’s pretty obvious that we’d end up a bit down when returning to work, especially after a fun and rested weekend. In reality though, the real reason may be more than meets the eye.

It turns out that Monday Blues could be a case of biological emotional cycles that determine our ‘biological’ moods. In other words, it’s not the negative feelings we have of going back to work that’s making us blue, but periodic mood shifts that go by the week. Fortunately for us, there are a few simple things we can do to help minimize the ill effects of Monday Blues.

1. Have Something To Look Forward To On Monday Nights

What is it that keeps you going from Monday ’til Friday? Weekends! You’d probably be thinking about the weekend getaway with your buddies, daydreaming about the sea breeze and the golden sandy beaches that awaits your arrival; no doubt these thoughts would help make the time pass faster.

The same theory thus, should also apply to your Mondays. Plan something for after work so that you have something to look forward to. Monday is probably just the start of a hard week ahead, so you deserve an exciting event at the end of the day to motivate you while you work.

If you feel that you’d be too exhausted for a night out, consider doing something at home; something relaxing. Taking a long bath while indulging in soothing music and a homemade aromatherapy session should lessen the stress you are facing at work or after a long weekend, partying.

If you make it a habit to go home to relax every Monday evening, sooner or later you’d not see each Monday as a taxing day. Rather, it will become the day that you’ll long for. Monday doesn’t have to be the most painful day of the week; it is only so, if you focus on it.

2. Prepare Monday’s Work On Friday

This one seems like common sense, but people don’t seem to heed it. It is a case of instant gratification versus delayed gratification. Yes, Friday is the day when we can finally say take a breather and count down to the weekend. But in reality, some of us have already ‘closed shop’ by midday, and simply thinking about plans for the weekends.

The result? We leave Friday’s work to pick up on Monday,and we face a double whammy when we return to work after the weekend.

I suggest that you bring the coming Monday’s work to this Friday. This will not only minimize the dread you’ll face on Monday mornings, but also keep your mind off work during the weekend. At the very least, if you plan out Monday’s workload on Friday, you’ll feel less overwhelmed come Monday. Planning ahead can help you cope with Mondays and maintain your productivity levels for the rest of the week.

3. Socialize

Humans are social animals. Even if you are an introvert and prefer to keep to yourself most of the time, you still need some social contact once in a while. Engaging in a conversation stimulates the mind enough to actually kick-start it for the day. If you dive straight into your work the moment you reach the office, chances are that your brain is still trying to ‘wake up’. Like a car engine, your brain needs to warm up before it can function optimally.

Other sources would suggest waking up earlier, getting some sunlight, or finding something to laugh about, etc. The idea is to freshen up your mind before you start work, so that you’ll get enough motivation and energy to face yet another demanding Monday.

I suggest socialization here because there’s nothing more invigorating than the exchange of ideas and opinions via conversations. The conversations need not be ‘deep’ in nature; even a simple chat about how the weekend was spent can wake up all your senses and your mind for the day ahead.

4. Reconceptualize Mondays

This one is a little tricky because it has a lot to do mind over matter. Ask yourself: why does Monday have to be blue? Just because everyone says so? Well, it doesn’t have to be. Yes, you should ‘reprogram’ the way you see Monday. Monday may be the day we have to drag our feet back to work after an awesome weekend but if you look at it as the beginning of a great week ahead, the thought can empower you and propel you to a great start.

As it is with other things in life, it is a matter of seeing the glass half empty or half full. You can be overwhelmed with all the duties and deadlines you are in charge of, or you can be enthusiastic about the responsibilities and goals thrown upon you.

If this doesn’t work for you, my fifth and final tip, the simplest and most counter-intuitive solution could just be the answer to your Monday woes.

5. Accept It

Monday blues is like a Chinese finger trap; the more you struggle, the tighter it gets. In other words, fighting the blues only makes it worse. The solution to both Monday blues and the finger trap is surprisingly very similar. For the finger trap, you just need to relax your fingers and push them further in. The trap will then loosen and you’ll get your fingers out. As for your Monday blues, just accept that it’s a dreadful day and that you’ll probably feel a bit tired and down.

Think about it: Monday is already a miserable day and you’re still thinking of ways to stop yourself feeling that way? It will only exhaust you further. Why not go with the flow and cope with the stress? Time passes by quickly when you don’t dwell on it.

After awhile you wouldn’t even remember that Mondays are supposed to be blue. It’s just the day after the weekend when we all have to return to work.

http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/monday-blues/

The Do's and Don'ts of Goal Setting

Goal achievement, especially when it comes to health and fitness, can be a mystery. Most of us have no trouble with Step 1 (Setting the Goal). Setting a goal is the easy part, it's those other steps that can be a puzzle. But you CAN turn achieving your goals into a science with the right strategies. Here are a few of our favorites:

DO create a plan. DON’T wait for "someday" to roll around.

Setting the goal is just the first step. Know where you’re going, what resources you’ll need, who can help and – most importantly – what Plan B is when life throws a monkey wrench into Plan A.

DO start small. DON’T focus on too many things at once.

Try focusing on one goal at a time. Use a small goal that you know you can do each day for the next two weeks, like getting up without the snooze or drinking eight  cups of water. Build that first habit to boost your confidence and pick up speed.

DO write it down. DON’T forget to give yourself a deadline.

Deadlines turn wishes into goals. The act of writing down your goal is powerful enough to keep you committed and focused. Better yet, find a visual that represents your goal or how your life will be different. Seeing it makes it seem more possible.

DO be specific. DON’T deal in absolutes.

Avoid the words ‘some’ and ‘more’, as in "I will get SOME exercise" or "I will eat MORE veggies." It leaves too much wiggle-out room. Deal in measurable things that you have control over. And never say ‘never’ or ‘always.’ All or nothing is a common attitude that leads people back to bad habits.

DO leave room for failure. DON’T expect perfection.

Persistence is key. Accept the fact that you might not make it on the first try. In a recent study, only 40% of people who successfully followed New Year's resolutions did it on the first try; 17% of resolution achievers took six or more tries before they got it right – but they did get it right.

DO track your progress. DON’T fool yourself into failure.

Memory can be prettyselective. It conveniently forgets that extra brownie while remembering activity that never happened. The only way to know for sure is to track goals regularly with a checklist or journal.

DO reward your success. DON’T beat yourself up over failure.

This is the step that trips up most people. Negative thoughts are usually in our heads, telling us everyday what we’re doing wrong. This is not the approach to take to succeed with your goals. Why not focus on what you’re doing right instead? If you take a step back, learn from it and take two steps forward.

DO find a support system. DON’T try to do it alone.

A goal buddy can make all the difference this time. People that can help are all around you – on the SparkPeople support message boards, at work, even in your own family. Just add one person to your support group, and you double your motivation, double your energy, double your commitment – and double your FUN.

DO make a commitment. DON’T ever forget that you can do it.

2http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=124&page=2